In so many ways, our sexuality and sexual behaviors lie in an area of shadow for us, and contain a high degree of emotional and mental energy ... yet they remain among our greatest secrets. So many of us have been taught that our sexuality is somehow bad, or have had the natural gift of our sexuality “unwrapped” at the wrong time or in some traumatic way in our lives. Sexuality may become compulsive or the opposite -- feared or strenuously avoided -- and costly to us and our loved ones in negative ways. In order to regain control of our lives, we need to seek help from one or more of the following: a twelve-step group, a therapist, or a therapy group. And control doesn’t happen only by “not doing” (in the case of out of control behaviors) … it is achieved through a process of life change during which we begin to learn to receive things we have always wanted and needed.
I have noted elsewhere on this site that I am able to utilize EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) in my work. Sexual addiction is an area of difficulty where EMDR can be particularly useful, because it has been found that the majority of people suffering from sexual addictions have experienced some form of trauma, abuse or neglect which has come to contribute to their ongoing difficulties. Again, EMDR is also being used more and more as a component of treatment in all kinds of cases, due to the universality of traumatic experience.
To begin your own journey of healing, it is important to connect with someone who CAN understand these issues. Many therapists are not trained in this area, and are uncertain about how to proceed, but the community of qualified clinicians is growing. I am one of them, and it would be my privilege to help you get going.
If you would like to attend a twelve-step meeting (highly recommended), please see my "Links & Resources" page for the relevant contact numbers, where you can ask more questions and receive meeting locations and schedules. You do not have to wait to see a therapist before attending one of these very useful meetings.